My Thoughts On Finding God In Demi Lovato’s New Song Anyone


snow flake
If you have been following pop culture this week, you may have seen stories or articles lately about Demi Lovato’s emotional return to the Grammy stage to share her most recent song, Anyone. This song was written several days before she experienced an overdose in which she survived. I was scrolling through the latest releases on Spotify on Friday and came across the song. As I listened to the song over and over again, be aware this isn’t a Christian song, I felt like there were a lot of lyrics that I related to and a lot of things I definitely related to as a Christian. Today, I just wanted to talk a little bit about what I got out of her song, and why I think there are some spiritual elements we can all take away from it.

The song starts with this verse:

I tried to talk to my piano
I tried to talk to my guitar
Talk to my imagination
Confided into alcohol
I tried and tried and tried some more
Told secrets ’til my voice was sore
Tired of empty conversation
‘Cause no one hears me anymore

Sadly, we live in a generation where more than ever before, we are told that we need to have the loudest voices, the most tweetable phrases, the most-liked Instagram photos. We need to be bold and loud about our opinions for them to get noticed. The worst thing that many people in our society are afraid to experience is being invisible — not having the satisfaction of having people watch and react to their Instagram stories. We are all so fearful of being found out as actual real people with real problems. So we hide behind our Instagrams and our Facebooks and our Snapchat filters. We lie until our voices our sore that we are all right, we are ok, and that we are doing well when we aren’t.

And if you feel that way today, that you are genuinely weary of having to be loud to get attention or hide behind social media and cry into your pillow at night where no one sees you, I have some things I want to say to you today.

First, God sees you; He understands the real you, not just the polished version of yourself you display to those around you. He knows all the hairs you have on your head, and He is listening, even when it feels like He isn’t. A girl at my church the other week shared a vision she felt she had gotten from the Lord that I think is really applicable to how you might be feeling. She described a boy who was sitting almost against a stone wall, and he was praying to God, but he felt like God wasn’t hearing him. But in the vision, on the other side of the stone wall was God, and everything was magnified like it was coming through speakers to God, and He was hearing everything the boy was saying. And that is real, friends. He does listen to us when we try to talk to everyone else around us. He hears us and is with us when we try to take comfort in our food, or online presence, or The Bachelor. The Holy Spirit intervenes for us when we don’t even know what or how to pray. He hears it all. So don’t feel like you have to put on a shiny face with God because you don’t. Trust me, God has definitely seen all of us at our worst, so, unfortunately, there is no fooling Him.

Also, let’s start being a community of people that aren’t afraid to talk about hard things. If you are struggling with how you feel about yourself or just stuck in a season of comparing yourself to others, find someone to talk to about it. There is a high chance that they have experienced or are experiencing the same thing. But don’t let the enemy trick you into thinking that your stuff is too much for someone to handle. It is not too much for God to handle for one, but it is not going to be too much for friends that you really love to handle, either.

Next, we get to the chorus of the song:

A hundred million stories
And a hundred million songs
I feel stupid when I sing
Nobody’s listening to me
Nobody’s listening
I talk to shooting stars
But they always get it wrong
I feel stupid when I pray
So, why am I praying anyway?
If nobody’s listening

Anyone, please send me anyone
Lord, is there anyone?
I need someone, oh
Anyone, please send me anyone
Lord, is there anyone?
I need someone

I know some of you might be gasping at these lyrics, thinking blasphemy! Friends, I have a confession; I often have felt stupid when I prayed. Not always because I thought God wasn’t listening, but because I thought I wasn’t saying it well, or doing it the correct Christian way, or praying in the right place or right time with the right cup of hot liquid. But I do remember, when I was in the throes of my anxiety, feeling truly like an idiot for praying.

Not because I thought God wasn’t real, but because I thought He frankly didn’t care. And I thought if He was listening, He sure wasn’t doing anything to convince me He was. I prayed so much during that time to get better and feel better, that I felt like if I were in a movie right then, people would be screaming at the TV what are you doing? Don’t you get that He isn’t going to respond or help you?

But you know what, God was using that time of just breaking me and making me feel like I was in the bottom of a pit I could never claw out of to grow my faith. To show me that even when I don’t see or hear Him, He’s working. To quote the overplayed song Waymaker( I know what I said), “Even when I don’t see it, you’re working. Even when I don’t feel it, you’re working.” No matter what stage you find yourself in on your Christian walk, or maybe you don’t even have a relationship with God currently, you can relate to praying and hearing nothing.

Maybe you’re in that season right now. And if you are, I want to tell you to not lose hope. Don’t start believing that God is not good. He is good. It’s ok to have times that we doubt His goodness. It’s ok to have times when we journal or yell at Him in frustration. God can take our emotions, He invented them after all.

But if we stop believing that God is good and wants good things for us, then we stop having a reason to worship God. Because if we truly at our cores believe that God is just jerking us around, then He ceases to be a God that is worth praising. We have to look outside of our situations and circumstances currently and remember that goodness is promised to us time and time again.

After all, Abraham was promised children as numerous as the sands, and he just had two sons in his lifetime. But he believed God, and now we see that Abraham is the father of many religions that separately have so many children over the numbers of sands on a beach shore. God promises us that He is returning, and He is going to redeem this broken earth and His broken people. We might die before Jesus comes back, but that doesn’t mean that He isn’t returning.

We might feel like God isn’t good in our life right now, but He sees so much more than we do, hears so much more than we do, and actually knows a lot more than we do. He is good, even when we doubt. And He isn’t just sending anyone as Demi asks in the song He is sending and has sent His actual son as a sacrifice for us so that we can experience Him and have the opportunity to question if He’s good or not. Because when they were sacrificing all those animals in Leviticus, I don’t think they had a whole lot of time to ponder God’s goodness.

So to wrap this rant up, if you feel stupid when you pray, or like you are looking to God friendless and lonely, you need to know that you are valued and cherished. And I am not one to be one of those fakey Christian bloggers that quote you are fearfully and wonderfully made a lot. You have value regardless if you feel it or not because God declared you were worthy without you having been born when He was on the cross. If you are still breathing today, your life has value, case closed.

The bottom line is, God is good; Instagram can mess with your brain, so take a break, and finally, you can hear from God in the weirdest places, even a Demi Lovato song. Thanks for reading my friends. I hope this encouraged you!

Finding God This Holiday Season In A Second Tier Christmas Song


Honestly, I didn’t really remember much about the song O Come, O Come Emmanuel until the other day when it came on in the car with my uncle and he declared it be a second-tier Christmas song. I agreed with him, after all, it wasn’t exactly one of my favorite hymns to sing in church, I mean it’s not Joy to the World or Angels We Have Heard On High, the classics all good Christmas services sing. However, I found myself inexplicably drawn to listening to the song the other day when driving.

I was surprised, once I listened to the lyrics, how much I resonated with the song, especially considering the books of the Bible I am currently reading. Towards, the end of each year as I finish up my Bible reading plan, I end with some of the heaviest parts of the Bible at what the world declares to be the happiest time of the year.

I just finished up Revelation, and because I didn’t exactly read my Bible every day like I am supposed to, I am a little further behind in my Old Testament reading. That is why during December I find myself camped out in books like Job, Lamentations, Ezekiel, and Micah. You know the real joy-filled books.

As I was listening to Lauren Daigle’s voice fill my car, I intently listened to the main chorus of the song. Which is “rejoice, rejoice, Emmanuel will come to thee oh Israel.” In my head, I know what the gist of what the song is about. It is about the Israelites rejoicing, though they are in hardship and captive right now, knowing that one day the Messiah that Isaiah and the other prophets prophesied about will come and they will be saved.

However, this is probably the first year that the story of the Israelites throughout the entirety of the Old Testament really stuck with me. You know beyond the ways that our Sunday school classes make fun of the Israelites for being so foolish and pastors get extra laugh points for bringing them down in a sermon. I mean, who doesn’t love a good golden calf joke?

With the help of my trusty Biblical commentary, I was able to understand better the words of the minor prophets and the major prophets like Jeremiah and Isaiah. I was able to understand the true horror that the Israelites would have experienced when they were forcefully removed from their homes and taken captive to Babylon. How much fear they would have had, how they wouldn’t have understood what was happening, how they were thinking to themselves they would never be able to go home.

And yes, I am not defending the Israelites for not making their bed and lying in it so to speak, but my heart is just as idolatrous and sinful as theirs and I have not been uprooted to another country. To put it in perspective when King Nebuchadnezzar came and forced the people of Israel to exile in Babylon, besides a small subset of poor people he left to work the land( Jeremiah was included in this group), he moved an entire people group 1678.2 miles from their home.

Yep, that is right Jersaulem was 1678.2 miles from Babylon. And there were no Ubers to get them there y’all, the Israelites had to literally walk away from their home and know they probably weren’t ever going to see it again.

Now, what does this exile have to do with this Christmas song? I believe it relates because for all the crap that churches and pastors give the Israelites there is one thing that they have that should be commended, and that is their hope. We see this in the minor and major prophets who while prophesying Israel’s demise also prophesy God’s ultimate redemption of His people. We see this in Nehemiah when he literally rebuilds the temple from scratch once returning from exile. We see this in the hope and faith of a people group that didn’t hear from God for 400 years after the book of Malachi.

I think this is important to note because we all face our time in Babylon in the modern world today. For you that might look like losing a job, or a relationship, or not being able to pay your bills. It might be a strained family relationship, crippling loneliness, or not being able to accomplish a dream. You might find yourself in Babylon for a year or so, or for many years at a time. But the point I want to make today is that there is hope in Babylon. There was hope for the Israelites who God literally turned His back on, and there is hope from you. Because no matter how much we mess up, God never abandons those that He loves.

As I have gotten older, I have found that life is less all bad or all good at one period of time but rather a mix. I feel that on most given days I could list out a whole series of things that are good or I am excited about, but in the same token list hard things, I am learning or going through. I once heard on a podcast that our lives are not filled with hills and valleys, but our lives are more like two train tracks running beside one another. One of the train tracks is all the good in life and the other is bad. They run side by side as we make our way through life because there is always some beauty in hardship and always some hardship in beauty.

But, as many of you know, we do experience seasons where we really feel that we are in the thick of Babylon. That we have been banished or punished by God and He is not going to save us.

So if that is how you are feeling going into this New Year or looking back at the year you had and thinking that it wasn’t worthwhile, remember the Israelites. Remember that we too can hold tight to the same promise that Emmanuel is coming again for us soon. Even the book of Lamentations, arguably the most depressing book of the Bible ends in hope.

I know it can be easy to look at the world around us and not see hope, not see that God is coming or anywhere to be found. But He is there. In the Christmas songs that we sing, the funny joke our co-worker tells, the falling of fresh snow, the kind card written from someone we love. He is there in our mundane and in our smallest moments of suffering, as well as in our largest.

I hope that as you look towards 2020, you remember the song O Come O Come Emmanuel, and realize that God is going to set us all free of our sin someday and we will be captives no longer.

Here is the link to the O Come O Come Emmanuel lyrics!

The Gift of Solitude God Doesn’t Want Us To Miss


house on a hill

“It’s quiet. In this house upon the hill. You won’t mind it. Some things you can’t know till you’re still. In the silence, let your spinning thoughts slow down. In the stillness, things have a way of working out.”

I have always been someone who didn’t love the silence. The first kid to speak up in class to answer a question, even if I didn’t know the answer, simply because I couldn’t stand the silence that followed. My body would start to itch and squirm at the very thought of being subjected to another minute of unbearable silence.

As I got older, it was no different. If I couldn’t fill my time with talks from friends or loudness, I would fill my earbuds with audiobooks, podcasts, and music. I didn’t like to be alone and I sure didn’t like silence.

As I listened to those lyrics above as I was walking around my neighborhood the other night, I was struck by how little my world and life is filled with the silence this song depicts. A silence that we can only experience with God.

My days are filled with slack messages, alarms, podcasts and music, and so many other avenues to avoid being stuck in the silence. Maybe you can relate to this as well.  Maybe you have filled your silence with things other than God. Things like Netflix, Youtube videos, working out, chasing after another dream. Maybe you like me, have trouble sitting alone in the silence of it all.

But this early summer, I have learned how valuable silence and contemplation can be for faith. Though God can speak to us in a variety of ways, nothing is more pure and vulnerable than meeting God in the silence and just being. In 1 Kings, we see Elijah have an encounter with the Lord.

“And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper.”- 1 Kings 19: 11-12

In our world today, God is not in the horrific acts of violence, in the natural disasters, in the hate on social media, He is in the whispers. The random moments of silence when our minds and souls are ready to listen to Him. To listen requires slowing down the swirling thoughts caught in our minds, and to stop letting the fears, doubts, and other imperfections plaguing us, take up permanent residence in our heads. Like the lyrics say, in the silence things have a way of working out.

Today I wanted to offer up some encouragement to those out there who are struggling to hear God and His wishes for them or to hear Him for the first time at all. He is waiting for you, in the house on the hill, for you to silently meet Him there. He always has been and He always will be.

Lyrics from Amanda Cook- House on a Hill

To All The Insecure Young Adults



Today I started researching the possibility of buying a townhouse in the next couple of years. As I started looking over the logistics of a down payment, closing costs, and what the heck taxes are, I realized that my dream of owning a townhouse or any house at that matter was going to be quite a ways off. And not without sacrifice.

I think that for many young adults, with the online diaries of everyone around us filling up our feeds, can start to feel insecure at where we are in life really quickly. It can be easy to feel insecure that you are living at home when all your friends have moved out. It can be easy to feel insecure that you haven’t met Mr. Right yet, while all your friends are on the way to the altar. It can be easy to feel like you aren’t succeeding in your career all because a friend of yours got a promotion before you. It can be easy to feel like you aren’t making a difference for God’s kingdom all because you don’t have thousands of Instagram followers. No matter where you are at today, we can all feel insecure about our progress at some point.

As I grappled with the reality of having to stay at my uncle’s longer and gave up the dream of being able to get an apartment by myself, I realized that part of the reason I was feeling so anxious is that I wasn’t feeling secure. I was looking forward to years in the future of my life and already feeling like I was behind. I started to panic about the fact that I would never have enough to save up for a down payment coupled with the fear that it was terrible I couldn’t afford my own property because my dating life was drier than the Sahara desert and that meant I couldn’t even marry someone rich, so I was most definitely screwed. And as I started to have a mini panic attack in my head and feel the thoughts of the next year fill my chest with dread, I realized something quite important. I wasn’t factoring God into my future.

girl laughing at future

I had let my mind take me on a wild goose chase of what could be or what could happen or I can’t do this on my own and forgot that I never have to do anything on my own. Even though I was feeling so insecure about my future or where God was taking me, I forgot that I was always, always secure in His arms. That if I took the time to slow down and listen, I could hear His voice saying this is the way, walk in it. I am not alone on this journey of adulting and you aren’t either. Don’t let someone else’s ending chapters dictate where you are beginning today. God is with us at the beginning, middle, and end of a transition. And even though I have no idea if I will be able to buy my townhouse while affording the miniature schnauzer that is very much needed to be a part of my life, I know I can count on God to provide for me.

I don’t need to look to the end goal, I need to remember that I just need to do the next step today that is going to get me closer to my goal tomorrow. And often that looks like slowing down and taking time away from my phone to think. It means praying and reminding myself of these verses:

“Hear my cry, O God, and listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth, I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy. “- Psalm 61: 1-2

“For God alone, my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress, I shall not be shaken.”- Psalm 62: 1-2

Gently reminding myself that my life isn’t made up of the highlight reels that present themselves on social media, but it is made up of a journey where there are plenty of hills and valleys.

footsteps in the sand

I hope that this article can encourage you today if you find yourself in a similar position to myself. Wondering what and maybe even where your future is calling you, and feeling behind the rest of the adulting world before you even started. Everyone is a beginner once and we are all learning and trying our best to navigate life. But as you are striving to navigate these transitional times, remember that your pal Jesus is there walking beside you and sometimes even literally carrying you through life’s ups and downs.

You are not alone and yes you’re right you can’t do this on your own. But God sent us the Holy Spirit and died for us so that we never would have to experience a life where He wasn’t by our sides. So take a deep breath, turn off your Instagram feed, and lean into God’s word today. He is the one who can help you as life seems unsteady and He will always make your path secure.

Are You Noticing God This Spring?



Normally I stick to a nice normal color when getting my nails painted. I am a big fan of the French manicure and subtle or darker pinks. But that Friday afternoon as I sat getting my nails perfectly tended to and looked outside my window at the snow still coming down in March, I knew I needed a color that screamed spring. So, I picked a bright Tiffany blue. And for extra measure, I asked the girl who was doing my nails to paint bright yellow sunflowers on my ring finger. The effects of that manicure on my mood were soul shaking. I walked into that salon run down, tired from work, and agitated at the weather, and left feeling like another person. Spring might not have been there in terms of the outside weather, but my soul was finally starting to smell the roses. 

I didn’t realize how deeply entrenched I had gotten in my own everyday tasks and just general monotony until the other day when I was driving to work. Normally on my morning commute, I am silent in my car, I will tell you that I am praying, preparing my heart and mind as I head to work, but in reality, I am really just running through the never-ending to-do list in my head.

All of a sudden, I looked up and noticed that the trees had green bulbs on the end of them. Spring was starting to bloom and I had no idea. I looked around wildly and realized that it wasn’t just one tree that was starting to bloom, but all the trees. I had been driving to work for days and weeks and how many times had I driven by those trees, stuck in my own every day struggles to not notice the very obvious way God had been speaking to me. Every green bulb was a tiny reminder from God like, “Hello, remember me on your commute, spring is coming. Winter won’t last forever, hey look up, look up.” 


But stuck in my daily routine of work, gym, friends, Netflix, etc, I had not noticed that spring was coming. I was not open to being reminded that God was all around me desperate to get my attention, desperate to break the focus I had on myself. I hope that many of you out there can relate to my feelings of being stuck in a rhythm. But one of the best parts of the seasons changing is that we have the opportunity to see God changing the outside world along with our insides changing in return.

After noticing those bulbs I had a realization, I had not been allowing God the opportunity to show me and present me with small gifts throughout the day. I was too stuck on my own daily routine and life and not open to something interrupting it, even if it was God. So, I decided to make some changes in my life to allow my soul more space to experience God.

I decluttered my closet of the clothes I no longer wear and threw out the ratty track and field t-shirts I had since middle school. I started to practice the art of Sabbathing, truly for the first time in my life, which allowed me to pack my weeks full, in anticipation that my Sundays would be rich and life-giving. I started making it a priority to write several times a week, to practice the craft that I love, even if I don’t let anyone see it. And finally, I started to freshen up my time with God. I did this by pulling out my journal, listing my daily gratitudes more often, and praying out loud so that on my way to work, I didn’t let my to-do list overwhelm me. 

spring bulb

I don’t know what steps you may need to take in order to make room for God to speak to your soul this spring, but I encourage you to stop what you’re doing today and think of something. The God of the universe is trying and wants to communicate with us every single day, which is something no other religion can claim. Make sure that as you start to get used to the warmer weather, that you don’t just use it as an opportunity to swap the clothes in your closet around, but you allow this season to reset and recharge your mind after a long winter.

Winter is the season where the earth remains dry and barren. There are roots working underneath the surface, but all you see at the top of gardens are dust and decay from the season prior. With spring coming and the break to my all too inflexible routine, I can feel myself starting to rise from the soil, not quite ready to bloom, but starting to make out the sun and features of the ground above me. Give yourself room to reset goals, reset priorities, and work through issues with God as you go into this new physical and emotional season. Maybe as you drive to or from work today instead of automatically putting on that audiobook or playlist, you stop, take a deep breath, notice the blooms, and ask God to speak. 

4 Ways Worriers Can Trust God to Fight Their Battles


I have always had a problem being still. I am a very energetic person by nature, often tapping my foot, flipping my pen cap around my fingers, or just jittering with unused energy. If you have been around me for any length of time, I am sure you have witnessed the many times I have tripped over my own two feet or randomly run into a wall, all in the name of not being able to be still.

However, one of my goals for this year has been to learn how to be still in all areas of my life a little bit better. Though it’s easy to joke about my lack of hand-eye coordination or incessant energy, being still for me is more a heart issue than a physical one. In the book of Exodus, when the Israelites are being pursued by the Egyptians and are looking out at the deep waters of the Red Sea, God offers Moses this advice.

“ The Lord will fight for you; you have only to be silent.”

In the non-ESV version, the be silent verse is translated to be still. God is telling Moses that it though looks like everything he just spent the past months and years working on was about to end in a matter of seconds, God is still there and is still fighting.

I have never been faced with an army pursuing me as I look at an ocean as my only way to escape, but I do have many experiences from my life where I felt trapped where I was. And that’s exactly how I am sure the Israelites felt. They felt trapped physically by the ocean but also trapped by their circumstances and their lives. I am sure we can all relate to a time that we felt trapped by our circumstances. The man you are seeing suddenly calls it off. You get laid off from your job. A bad diagnosis shakes the core of your family.  It can be easy to think that our problems are ours alone to deal with and forget that we have a great defender who is standing by our sides, waiting to part the waters.

As a natural worrier, it can be really hard to trust God with the bigger areas of my life. What my career path looks like, making friends, moving to a new area, meeting my future husband. I find myself looking towards the future, grappling with the wideness and depth of the ocean in front of me, certain there is no way I will be able to cross it. I am learning that I often turn inwardly to myself or others to help me navigate these waters. I try to tentatively wade out on my own, thinking that I can swim to the other side, but I only make it a few strokes before I am drowning quite literally in the sea of my tears and fears.

But God doesn’t want me or you to live this way anymore. He wants us to stand back, relax, maybe get a manicure, and come back to see the sea parted for us. He doesn’t want to have to wade out and pull our struggling forms out of the water, though He will. He wants us to trust Him with everything.

And I wish I could tell you that I was great at trusting God with the small every day things. That yes, I can’t let go of the big stuff, but the small decisions, have your way, God.  But then I thought about it for a solid two minutes and realized I don’t even trust Him with the small stuff always.

I depend on myself to make money so I can buy my food so that I can pay my bills. I rely on my uncle to continue housing me and not to kick me out on the street, but not God.

I pray a big game. I mean I really do. I am the queen of praying to God about stuff that I entirely don’t trust Him with. And I know that He can see that I am a phony too. When I pray to Him about my future or about my future spouse, I always pray for Him and the Holy Spirit to lead and guide me, but I don’t look out for them. I pray for my heart or circumstances to change, but then I don’t let them work in me.

At the root of my being, I know that I can trust God. But I don’t always trust Him to provide me with good things. A quote I love by CS Lewis sums up what I am feeling perfectly,

“It is not that we are necessarily doubting that God will do what is best for us, we are wondering how painful the best will be.”

It can be hard to see the good in our world every day. Families are torn apart; car accidents kill loved ones, friendships fall apart, people get laid off. And yes, God never promises that we will have an easy life as His followers, but He does promise to fight for us, we just have to be still.

So, this year, I vow to spend less time trying to solve my own problems, and more time sitting back and letting God work His magic. Because yes, God will intervene in our lives no matter if we trust Him or not, but if we do trust Him, we get to be part of a much more beautiful story than if we tried to do it on our own. We open ourselves up to our utter humility and just desperation for God, and I don’t know about you, but I constantly find myself needing to fill up on that. Maybe you like me, are a chronic worrier, someone who wants to trust God with everything they have, but just isn’t sure where to start. Here are some ideas that I have for the worriers in all of us.


Praying, Praying A lot


I often go throughout my day only praying during my designated quiet time. But I want to be someone who realizes their dependence on God every day, every hour, every minute. My prayer is that I pray more and more. Because if you think that Moses stopped praying just because God said He would fight for Him, you’re mistaken. Now, I don’t personally know Moses, but I bet that God sharing that with him caused him to fall to his knees, thank God, and pray even harder.

Be Real About Where You’re At


Don’t let your Christian friends or church community guilt you about not trusting in God. If you have someone in your life who, “can’t relate,” to not trusting God, you may need to step away from them because I think they have to be a sociopath. Everyone worries and forgets to trust God. What helps us is to remind ourselves and others of the times that God has shown up and taken care of our battles for us. Find friends you can be real with about this struggle; I guarantee that you won’t be alone.

Be a Testimony Collector


I think we often think about our testimony as the story where we either accepted Jesus for the first time or when we had our first big encounter with God. Me, I think of testimonies a little bit differently. I think at their core; testimonies are just stories where God undisputably showed up. It can be a miracle, healing, or when you got an A on a test, you thought you failed. Stories have become part of my love language. Partially because Shauna Niequist, but mostly because stories are what bring people together. They can be communicated in any language and shared around any table. So don’t be afraid to share your stories or to ask others about stories they can share when they trusted God, and He showed up.

Give Grace, But Don’t Give Up


Don’t beat yourself up when you turn to your mom instead of God in prayer. Don’t beat yourself up every time that you start to doubt. But also, don’t give up trying to trust God above anything and anyone else. Though I am nowhere near the finish line for this myself, I know that giving up just because I am falling behind isn’t the solution. So find that balance between not feeling sick to your stomach with guilt, but also not being too lackadaisical. Give yourself grace in the moments you need it, and push on and cry out to God in the moments you want to toss in the towel.

I hope that you can relate to the words I have written today. And that if you are in a season of waiting, that you can take some time to be still before God today. Ask Him what He wants you to do, and set aside time to actually listen. I hope that this year is a year that we all can make some baby steps, strides, or even leaps to trusting God more and more.

If You Act Like a Spinister, People Will Treat You Like a Spinister: My Take On Modern Singleness


Now, I am the first person to admit that being single and a young adult in today’s modern age is no easy feat. Especially with the almost never-ending parade of couples posing in front of Christmas trees, kissing around you on New Years, or just writing unbearable captions on Instagram. It can be enough to make anyone feel insecure, especially women like myself who find themselves single as they head into the New Year.

I admit that I have fallen into the trap of self-pity during the holiday and winter seasons before, thinking something is wrong with me for being alone while so many people around me on social media seem to be declaring that they have found their soul mate. I have fallen into the thinking that my year won’t be deemed successful unless I find someone to bring home to my family or spend the holidays with this time next year.

But friends, it’s time to stop hating our singleness, to stop comparing ourselves to every touched up and perfectly captioned photo on the internet, and to make goals for the New Year that matter much more than how many dates we can go on.

In today’s article, I want to help you take a break from the monotony of couples pictures, engagement announcements, and tell you some hard truths about singleness in our modern age. Are you ready to stop complaining about your lack of fortune or binging another rom-com on Netflix? Good, let’s get started.

 If You Act Like a Spinster, People Will Treat you Like a Spinster


Sadly, I think that one of the biggest fears that young women, older women, and women of frankly every age face, is the fear of being what is considered a spinster. This is a woman who is typically older who has never been married and has no children. We normally imagine her as a wrinkly, not attractive older woman, who most likely has a mole on the side of her lip or some other unseemly blemish that makes you smile without showing your teeth when you see her.

She may have a lazy eye. She wears too much overwhelming perfume. And all the other old women in the congregation steer clear of her. Sure, there is always someone like Pam who tries to befriend the spinster, or the spinster still attends the church she grew up in so she can sit with her family every week. I know that in my church congregation, there were several women I considered spinsters, who still went to church with their older mother. I was horrified at the thought of that becoming me. However, I just want to say that my mother is fantastic and would be a very good church going companion.

I have found in recent years as I have reached the age that people are getting married, in serious relationships, or want to be, that the fear of becoming a quote on quote spinster, has reached astronomical levels.

But the real concern for you shouldn’t be becoming old and unmarried. In the Bible, Paul praises people that can be single, Jesus talks about how what the world views as status and praiseworthy aren’t important to Him. We as women are called by God to do extraordinary tasks that aren’t only able to be completed if we are married.

So though society places enormous pressure on getting married and pumping out 2.5 kids, God has never put that kind of pressure on his children. But out of this fear of singleness that women have created, I think a new monster has been allowed to be born; she is the young adult spinster.

That is the friend or person at church that we all know. The girl who is constantly bemoaning her singleness, crying woe is me on Facebook about her singleness, and even if you don’t really know her, will inform you of how she didn’t go on a date last year and that there are no single men around.

Friends, don’t become the young adult spinster. Try hard not to be the girl who chooses only to see one side of her singleness. Don’t succumb to being cranky, to cursing your friends who are in relationships, to letting bitterness and envy eat away at your heart until there is nothing left to tempt people to be your friends much less a man.

If you act like something is wrong with you because you are single, people will start to see that you’re single because something is wrong with you. But, if you act like you are beautiful, talented, smart, the daughter of the King which you are, people won’t remember that you are single.

They won’t tell people who ask about you that you’re single, they’ll tell people what a great friend you are, how you’re funny, and how you’re hardworking. They will want to set you up with the people they know who are single because they can see the amazing qualities you have because you show them off.

And yes, there is most definitely a time and place that you can be sad about being single. There are plenty of nights you are welcome to cry yourself to sleep. You are allowed to talk and ask for prayer from close friends to help spur you to grow to be content in singleness. And if you need to talk about the unfairness of that mean girl from high school or college getting engaged, call your mother and talk your heart out. But what you are not allowed to do is let your singleness be the only thing that defines you.

So, this year, instead of being the Debby Downer of singleness, put your identity in Christ and Him alone. Not in how many matches you get on online dating, how many of your friends are engaged when you aren’t, or if you find someone this year at all. Put your identity in the One who created you and cares for you. The One who knows what you need and what you don’t need. The One who understands that you are feeling painfully alone at times in your singleness. But don’t let yourself become a young adult spinster, don’t continue to allow this epidemic to spread.

Put Yourself Out There


I have a real problem with single women complaining about being single but doing absolutely nothing to change that. They are the type of women who are content waiting in their homes and are certain that God will bring them their husband on a silver platter when the time is right. And I am not saying that there isn’t a tremendous amount of God’s hand in the person you end of marrying. But, we can’t just be passive if we are looking to go on dates or find someone to be our boyfriends. We have to do our part so that God can do His.

That might mean that you join a small group that is mixed, or you join a rec league at the Y, or you do online dating. If you aren’t meeting available single men somewhere in your life, then you are going to be alone. That is not meant to be harsh; it’s just a fact. If all you do is sit at home and watch TV, the only guy who could be your husband is the Fed-ex or pizza guy.

I know that this is a flaw I want to work on this year as well. Sometimes I can hide behind the thought of online dating instead of just going up to people at my young adult group and talking to them. Not to say that you should be throwing yourself at any boy that is single and breathing at your church, but, we need to stop being so afraid to approach men. And we need to go up to men, with nothing in our hearts but the desire to find a new friend or work on communicating with the opposite sex better.

We need to get used to talking to more men and having guy friends. To not treat every interaction we have with a person of the opposite sex in the church as a signed contract of marriage. You can talk to guys, not want to date them, and still have them benefit your life. Single women need guy friends. They are the ones who can give you advice, can introduce you to other guys, and add a lot of depth to your relationships when you are still waiting to get married.

I know that many people will say you’ll either marry your guy friends or stop talking to them when you get married. That’s not wrong thinking. Not that you can’t continue to have friendships with the opposite sex when you’re in relationships or married, but it’s not the same. You can’t just go out with Joe to a movie or get pizza when you have a boyfriend. But, guy friendships can teach you so much about life and about the opposite sex. They can help to fill that hole of singleness so that you don’t become the young adult spinster.

So, this year, I am encouraging myself especially, and others, to just go up and talk to actual men. I promise you they aren’t going to think you’re weird or something is wrong with you. Act confident, not like you’re a burden, and people are going to like talking to you, I promise. Find ways to expose yourself to actual single men, and who knows? You might meet someone.

Trust Who God Created You To Be


You need to get to a point where you believe that nothing is wrong with you if you’re single. Try to get to a place this year where you can be happy for those around you in relationships and who are engaged because you genuinely love them and love yourself. An excellent tip to remember is, just because someone is getting into a relationship, doesn’t mean they got into a relationship instead of you.

There are still plenty of great Godly men out there. I definitely have to remind myself of this when someone online asks me if I want to be their friends with benefits, but I assure you it’s true. You are a great, great creation. God has plans, and goals, and purposes for your life. You were not an accident. Just because that boy you like at church hasn’t noticed you, doesn’t mean that you are unworthy of being noticed. You are.

I hope that this article has encouraged you to let go of the stigma and inner judgment that comes with being single, and can permit you to embrace your singleness this coming year. To throw yourself into different activities you want to try. To make and commit to finishing those hard goals you’ve always wanted. To do the hard work of growing in your faith, and other relationships.

Embrace this season, because one day, maybe sooner than you think, it’s going to be over. And you might look back and wonder, did I miss out on truly living out my single life well?

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